Waiting For That Day

This was in my March newsletter. I thought it deserved to live on my journal page.

I’ve been thinking a lot about music and the impact it has on our memories. Songs we grew up with, songs that soothed us during our biggest heartbreaks, the songs we turn up in celebration. Music has always been an important part of my life. I remember trying to record my favorite songs from the radio onto a cassette tape. And buying my first walkman. 

I graduated high school in 1990. The very next day I was on a plane to NYC in preparation for a contract I had to model in Japan. I bought myself a fancy walkman and it was attached to me at all times. Listen Without Prejudice was released by George Michael in 1990. While living in Tokyo, I got to attend his concert for this release and I wore that tape out. It was a pivotal album for him and that was a pivotal year in my life. Those songs resonated with me deeply at my big age of 18. I was in another country, building a career, and wouldn’t really ever return “home”. 

What I didn’t realize was how much that album would continue to show up in my life and continue to impact me. It has remained in my regular rotation for 35 years. Through every phase of life, these songs have been there with a message for me. Every time the message is different even though the songs are the same. 

The time in my life when this album was released was incredibly tumultuous. I lived alone my senior year of high school. I was “dating” a married man who was twice my age and in a very famous rock band touring the world. Our relationship would come to an end while we were both in Tokyo. If you ever read the memoir I’m working on, you’ll get this full story. Suffice it to say it changed me permanently and with all the info I now hold, I realize exactly how fucked up it all was. This was the first time this album rescued me. 

My favorite song on the album, Waiting For That Day, is a powerful song about a relationship ending. The line that always gets me: “My memory serves me far too well”. But the final track, Waiting (Reprise) carries lyrics that have so much more meaning.

​​Well there ain’t no point in moving on
Until you’ve got somewhere to go
And the road that I have walked upon
Well it filled my pockets
And emptied out my soul

Don’t people change, here I am.

I think there's something magical about an album with that kind of longevity and power. When lyrics can weave through your life whether they’re about a person or an experience and have a consistently deep impact. I often hear people talk about wishing they could read a book or hear a song for the first time again. While my ghosts definitely haunt me when I hear these songs, there is also a newness that I can’t describe. With each stage of life, it is like hearing these songs for the first time again. What a beautiful gift to smile at memories while learning something new about myself. 

There are a few other albums that have stuck with me over time. But none I hold as dear as this one. If you haven’t listened to it and/or haven’t listened to it lately…I highly recommend giving it a listen. 

Let me tell you a secret

Put it in your heart and then keep it

Something that I want you to know

Do something for me

Listen to my simple story

And maybe we'll have something to show

You tell me you're cold on the inside

How can the outside world

Be a place that your heart can embrace

Be good to yourself

'Cause nobody else

Has the power to make you happy